I give up!

well, that's what I keep trying to convince myself! I'm stressed out to the gills (my zodiac sign IS a fish) I am trying to figure out what is the "right" thing to do and I have come to the thought that I just need to tell Steve my feelings, pray to God and then let whatever is going to happen, just HAPPEN! Easy right? WRONG! I keep trying to just let go and LET GOD and I keep finding that I'm compelled to wanting to hang on to this. I think it's b/c I just know Steve SO well that if I wasn't ~bugging~ him we'd be here until the day we HAVE TO GET OUT! {sob}

I'm SO beyond frustrated. I don't feel like I am being heard at ALL and Steve even had a put down for me last night he's so NICE. He said (infront of his mom to boot) "if it was a decision for me to make we'd be buying a house we couldn't afford and be up to our neck in debt".
I think he's lucky his mom WAS here. I was really hurt by his words but I think I'm even MORE frustrated by his lack of action. A friend told me today a very fitting phrase ~he needs to shit or get off the pot!~

I just want to crawl into a hole.